She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
