It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
