I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
