I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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