Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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