I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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