Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
