Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
