I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
