dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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