i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
