i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
