I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Where is the hickey?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
