Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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