the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I would fuck him just for his dog
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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