My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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