she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
