mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
