was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
