Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
