he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
