Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
