I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
