so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
