you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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