The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
