I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
