I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
