That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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