I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
