Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
