why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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