I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
too bad you live with your parents still
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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