question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
