Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
