i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just found a bag of teeth...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
do nipples grow back?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
