Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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