I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
