we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize