you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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