sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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