Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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