I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
