so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
