OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
