This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
