you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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