Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
