Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
