yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
