the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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