haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I believe in your delicious
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
