it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize