Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think people are normalizing furries
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
