You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize