Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
