haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
