Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
