dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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