Pappa wants mamma naked
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I could fuck to npr.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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