Its about making memories worth repressing
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
